Current:Home > ScamsBurley Garcia|TikTokers swear the bird test can reveal if a relationship will last. Psychologists agree. -MoneyStream
Burley Garcia|TikTokers swear the bird test can reveal if a relationship will last. Psychologists agree.
Oliver James Montgomery View
Date:2025-04-10 23:40:06
TikTokers say they've discovered the secret to predicting whether a couple will last or Burley Garciaeventually breakup − and psychologists say they're actually onto something.
It's called the bird test, and it's the subject of research conducted by psychologist John Gottman of The Gottman Institute, an organization dedicated to investigating the psychology of relationships. Videos tagged #birdtest have accumulated more than 16 million views with users testing the theory on their significant others.
The test involves getting excited about something insignificant and seeing how your partner reacts. For instance, if you look out the window and exclaim, "Wow, that's a beautiful bird," does your partner look to see what you're interested in or do they ignore it and go about their business? Or worse: Do they lash out and dismiss your enthusiasm entirely?
Repeated reactions that involve ignoring or flat-out rejecting your attempts to connect, even over something small like a bird, doesn't bode well for the future of the relationship, the bird test posits.
Gary Brown, a licensed marriage and family therapist, says there's a lot of truth to it.
"The beauty of the bird test is, basically ... it's a bid to ask whoever you're with to turn towards you and engage with you and show interest in something that you're interested in, versus what (Gottman) calls turning away," he says.
Is the bird test reliable?
The purpose of the bird test is to see how often your partner picks up on bids you offer them in your relationship. Brown describes a bid as "a request to engage and to connect with the other, no matter what the topic is," such as an invitation to look at a bird.
In his research, Gottman found couples who stayed together and reported feeling happy in their relationships turned toward each other about 86% of the time when presented a bid from their partner. Couples who broke up or felt unhappy in their relationships turned toward each other only about 33% of the time, according to The Gottman Institute's website.
David and Victoria Beckhamand how to (maybe) tell if your partner is in love with you
Bids may seem small, but they happen frequently, so it's important not to ignore them.
"Throughout the day, we're often making these bids right?" licensed psychotherapist Marni Feuerman says. "It's not unusual to say, 'Hey, do you want to have dinner now? Do you want to go on a walk? Oh, look at this cool Netflix show.' How is your partner responding and reacting?"
Several TikTokers have put their partners to the bird test, including former "Bachelorette" star Michelle Young, who practically jumped for joy when her significant other stopped to look out the window when she said she saw a cardinal. Gottman himself has endorsed the trend on TikTok as well.
What if the bird test goes wrong?
Don't panic if your partner fails a bird test.
Brown says that, if you're going to employ the bird test, make sure it's not during a time when your partner is occupied.
"If you're in a relationship and you are wanting to look at a bird, but it's the seventh game of the World Series for your partner, and your partner may say, 'I can't turn towards you now,' ... that doesn't mean that the relationship is doomed," Brown says.
Also, it's more important to see how your partner responds to you over time, so don't write them off if they fail a single bird test.
"Make those bids a few times over the course of a couple days," Feuerman says. "Look for the pattern. So, if consistently the partner ignores, doesn't respond, the bid isn't tuned into, then yes, I would say someone could reasonably discern 'I might have an issue here' or there might be a problem."
And if there is an issue, talk it out − and keep in mind no one is going to pass the bird test every time.
"People are going to miss bids on occasion, and so it's not about people getting worried or panicked that they're missing some, because you will. We all will," Feuerman says. "We're human."
veryGood! (321)
Related
- Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie return for an 'Encore,' reminisce about 'The Simple Life'
- Bruce Springsteen honors Robbie Robertson of The Band at Chicago show
- Drew Lock threws for 2 TDs, including one to undrafted rookie WR Jake Bobo in Seahawks win
- Photos: 'Whole town went and dissolved into ashes,' Hawaii lieutenant governor says
- See you latte: Starbucks plans to cut 30% of its menu
- Detroit police changing facial-recognition policy after pregnant woman says she was wrongly charged
- Pink baby! Fan goes into labor at Boston concert, walks to hospital to give birth to boy
- NOAA doubles the chances for a nasty Atlantic hurricane season due to hot ocean, tardy El Nino
- FACT FOCUS: Inspector general’s Jan. 6 report misrepresented as proof of FBI setup
- 'Rust' movie weapons supervisor pleads not guilty to manslaughter
Ranking
- Why Sean "Diddy" Combs Is Being Given a Laptop in Jail Amid Witness Intimidation Fears
- Mastering the Art of Capital Allocation with the Market Whisperer, Kenny Anderson
- US probing Virginia fatal crash involving Tesla suspected of running on automated driving system
- Tory Lanez maintains his innocence after 10-year prison sentence: 'I refuse to stop fighting'
- Scoot flight from Singapore to Wuhan turns back after 'technical issue' detected
- Disney plans to hike streaming prices, join Netflix in crack down on subscription sharing
- Charles Williams: The Risk Dynamo Redefining Finance
- Netherlands' Lineth Beerensteyn hopes USWNT's 'big mouths' learn from early World Cup exit
Recommendation
Romantasy reigns on spicy BookTok: Recommendations from the internet’s favorite genre
Netherlands' Lineth Beerensteyn hopes USWNT's 'big mouths' learn from early World Cup exit
'Transportation disaster' strands Kentucky students for hours, cancels school 2 days
Former Catholic priest admits to sexual misconduct with 11-year-old boy he took on beach vacation
Rylee Arnold Shares a Long
Wholesale inflation in US edged up in July from low levels
Over $1 million raised for family of California 8-year-old struck, paralyzed by stray bullet
Ford is losing a lot of money in electric cars — but CEO Jim Farley is charging ahead